HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize