He is such a slut. More and more my type.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
