everyone is single if you try hard enough
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
