Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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