Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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