Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
