I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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