Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
