I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
