You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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