What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
