so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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