I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
