coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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