Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
