dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
