people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I fill condoms, not promises.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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