ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
