I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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