I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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