wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
