absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The power of my boobs compel you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
