um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
