3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
