If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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