She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
