I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize