Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You ate ashes out of my bong
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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