how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
NoShamevember. You game?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
