Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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