Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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