as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
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Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
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For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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