They should really pass out barf bags in church
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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