My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
