Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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