Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
