please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
