I haven't been this sober since birth.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize