Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
