You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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