The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
