I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
