You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
