am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
