I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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