Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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