Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
