am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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