Nicole vs. Life
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize