so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
