My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she looked like the before picture.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
