is your mom at the bar?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
