hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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