She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
