I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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