Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am midnight drunk by noon
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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