pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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