Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
