Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
