so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
