Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize