Do you still have your period?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
