im about as happy as oj after his trial
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
