Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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