I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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