It was confusing and full of hummus
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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