It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
