I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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