Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
